Updated Science: Why Are Sharks Attracted to Blood?

fakescience:

Why Are Sharks Attracted to Blood?

  • Shark Week has been controversial this year, so just remember that we never fear mongered. In fact, it’s been years since we mongered anything.

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Moldy Thoughts In The Head Of Bread, Part One

Maybe this is something I can do as a series, so here it goes. I have a lot of weird, negative, bizarre thoughts that are brewing in my noggin, and I want to share them. I don’t expect sympathy, maybe you can get a laugh or two out of this:

I feel like I’m the worst aspiring filmmaker ever. All I want to do is comedy, I’m even straying away from film because I recently decided becoming a comedian would be a better route. Way to waste 3 years of your time and hundreds of thousands of potential dollars. I’m REALLY making my parents proud with that decision.

Here’s why I don’t believe I’m a good aspiring filmmaker. First off, I don’t like a lot of the films most aspiring filmmakers like. My favorite films are The Big Lebowski, Wet Hot American Summer, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Office Space. I don’t care for Darren Aronofsky or Christopher Nolan. I liked the Dark Knight trilogy, but Interstellar can go suck a fat dick for all I care. Black Swan doesn’t strike any chords for me, I don’t really sympathize for ballet dancers, whatever.

These days I just see myself as an idea man. I get crazy concepts and I write those fuckers down. In a producer role I’m a mess. I can’t light worth shit. Don’t get me started on audio. I’m a decent director at best. I can edit alright. I know my way around Premiere but editing theories are foreign language for me. (I am now realizing that this post is a surefire way that I’ll NEVER get another job in the industry. Oops.) I guess I’m destined to be a writer and MAYBE a director or possibly even a performer seeing that I’ve done standup and improv comedy on stage in front of people.

I can’t change the past, and the future is looking bleak, whether it’s my own personal situation or the world in general. Every day I see another article about who the world is fucked. War breaking out, global warming, disease, Wall Street fat cats, and so on. This stuff is super depressing to me.

I suppose I can live day to day but I have dreams I want to accomplish. I want to make people laugh for a living, whether that’s on stage with a mic in my hand, behind or in front of a camera telling a story, or even doing some humorous video game streaming. People make livings on YouTube or Twitch just by playing games and being themselves. That seems right up my alley.

To be honest, I don’t know about anything anymore. But I do know I don’t want to be confined to a desk for the next 40 or 50 years, so it’s time to get this comedy shit rolling.

Someone get me this book.

Someone get me this book.

(Source: the-ninja-a-go-go, via jasoneisener)

4 more to go!

4 more to go!

(Source: gxonethousand, via steakboarder)

Tags: thps2

The State Of The Bread - June 19, 2014 (Yes, I know it’s a day late.)

Yep, I’m a day late on getting this written and out there but with good reason (or is it?) I’m currently on vacation with a couple friends in Chicago. We all didn’t get much sleep on the bus ride there in the late hours of the night. They’re catching up on some zzz’s with a nap, and I attempted to but I can’t nap to save my life.

Even before leaving, I was feeling a bit of travel anxiety. I wasn’t worried about the bus tipping over or losing my stuff or anything bad happening. To me it’s more about the feeling of homesickness from not being in Pittsburgh and the overwhelming size of Chicago. I don’t think I’d survive in New York to be honest. But I’m trying not to worry about those things. I’m going to try to relax and have fun. I’ve got my hot cup of green tea next to me as I’m writing this and watching a bit of the World Cup.

An observation I made while during my initial adventures in the Windy City (just to clarify I lived in Chicago when I was little and I visited a couple years ago) was that compared to Pittsburgh I noticed way more young (or just young-looking) professionals close to my age. Maybe it’s a sign that the times are changing, but as I thought about it more and more I started to worry about myself a bit.

Sure, I’m only 22 and many people consider me to be pretty young still, it kind of put things into perspective for me. I’ve worked an office job for 10 months now, and although it’s stuff I learned to do in college, I do NOT want to work in an office for 8 days an hour, 5 days a week, for the next 30 or more years of my life. I’ve been trying to do all this stuff in comedy and film/video production, so I think I need to turn it up a notch.

I need to start reading more books, watching more films and TV series for inspiration, write more, plan more in depth, and just kick more ass. I’m doing a moderately decent job thus far, but I can always do more and do better.

So it’s evident that there’s a lot in the mind of Bread lately. Maybe that’s good, maybe that’s bad. Maybe I’m over-thinking everything, but doesn’t everyone? But one thing that’s been helping me calm down is write these problems out, and usually I can find a solution within one I give these thoughts a voice.

And now my weekly album recommendation is a fantastic sophomore effort by a great band.

When I realized Young The Giant had released their second album Mind Over Matter I jumped on it like a dog with a frisbee. Like the first album, there were a few different distinct sounds the band had offered, Young The Giant definitely built upon their past works to make this album pretty darn spectacular.

Tags: life bread

State Of The Bread - July 11, 2014 (Why E3 Sucked This Year)

So for this week’s post I’m steering away from my personal life. You know the whole story with the struggle of financial and personal freedom while I try to make my dreams happen.

But what a lot of my attention has been on the past few days is the Electronic Entertainment Expo (or E3 for short) happening right now in Los Angeles. Basically it’s where all the cool new video games are debuted. Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft and a couple other industry giants show off all the cool stuff in press conferences, and they stream it live on the Internet.

Although there were a lot of great games showed off at this year’s E3, I have so much disappointment and dissatisfaction from it as well. Let me illustrate why…

First off, where the hell are all the skateboarding games!? I want a new Tony Hawk or EA Skate to come out, but nooooooooo, we need more first person shooters! Come on, game devs. Let’s see more virtual shreddin’.

Next, WHERE THE HECK IS THE NEW NFL BLITZ!? Madden’s always gonna be the same, at least Blitz is 100 times more fun. Also, a new NHL Hitz would be much appreciated.

And last but not least, with all these different LEGO games that have come out in the past few years, why haven’t we seen a sequel to LEGO Racers yet? You can actually BUILD YOUR CAR in that game. Make it a pirate ship, massive vibrating dildo, you get the picture. Imagine combining LEGO Racers and Need For Speed Underground 2. Am I blowing your minds or what?

The State Of The Bread - June 6, 2014

Holy wow, June is here already! Who’s ready for an awesome summer? This guy is!

Although the next shooting dates for Boyz House is now a month away and I had to push the initial release date back, I’m still feeling great about the project and the collective efforts of everyone involved. I’m still getting great ideas and writing them down, feels good.

The healthy habits keep falling into place. I’ve had the green tea and water consumption going on for a while now, since I moved to my new place I’ve been walking a lot, and last month I’ve gotten on a fruit kick. Now, basically on a whim, I started making kale smoothies. They’re cheap to make, hard to down (initially), and you start feeling the effects almost instantly. Here’s to more healthy habits down the road!

For my weekly album recommendation, instead of having one LP, I have 2 4-song EPs from some artists I just discovered.

Milky Chance is a two piece band from Germany. In the US they released an EP titled “Stolen Dance”, but released an LP in Europe last year called Sadnecessary, which I’m hoping it gets a US release soon.

Bad Suns released an EP called “Transpose” and have a new album dropping later month. With the 4 songs from the EP, I really like their electronic-fused indie rock sound. Can’t wait to hear the whole album from them.

Tags: life music bread

The State Of The Bread - May 28, 2014

Memorial Day Weekend came and went, but it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a very long time. Surrounded by awesome people, not only was I able to shoot 3 episodes of my new webseries, but I also went to 3 parties/cookouts. I got too drunk on the one Saturday night and had to pay the price the next morning, but that didn’t stop me from picking myself up and keep on going (well, maybe a little).

Coming off a very successful weekend, I’m ready to look forward to a very jam-packed month of June. Summer’s around the corner, so I’ll be keeping that outdoor vibe going as well as planning more shoots.

Something else that’s on my mind is just the future in general. I saw a video of Google’s self-driving car today and last week I saw a video for Solar Roadways, and these are two projects I’m very excited for. If these two come into fruition, imagine how drastic and positive those changes could be for America and also the world.

Just imagine riding cross country in your self-driving car with your friends, stopping at a solar charging station and NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT GAS. And just imagine how that car would look on the inside. I imagine a touchscreen interface where you can not only input your destination into the car’s GPS, but also choosing your tunes, surfing the web, video chatting with your other friends in their self-driving cars, and so on and so on. It’s some pretty cool stuff if you ask me. Fuck the naysayers going on about the logistical problems of such ambitious projects. We NEED ambition for the future to change for the better.

Enough rambling from me, time to get to my weekly album recommendation which I’m passing down from a friend.

Mac DeMarco’s “Salad Days” is one heck of a good-sounding album to my ears. It has that lo-fi indie vibe that all the kids like these days, and the album in whole fits together like pieces to a puzzle (did I mention how bad I am at describing why I like music?).

Tags: life

The State Of The Bread - May 21, 2014

Bleeding positivity: It’s all I’ve been doing lately. Sure, you can’t be happy and positive all the time and I’ve definitely have gotten into rough patches, but overall I am one happy dude.

This weekend is the beginning of my latest creative endeavor. 3 episodes of my new webseries will be shot and good times will be had. And a good chunk of money will be spent as well, but that’s the film life. Sure, I could have gone the Kickstarter or Indiegogo route, but for this first season/portion/whatever you want to call it of Boyz House, I’ll be doing it out of pocket because I believe I can make it with the cash in my wallet.

Yes, it’s risky and fiscally irresponsible and I should have gotten some financial backing for this (keep in mind I still have student loan payments to make), but it’s something I’m super passionate about, and I have people who are excited and willing to help me. No, they didn’t give me money for this, they’re giving me something more valuable: Their time. And damn, do I love them for that.

Other than the dream staying alive, I’m doing other things to make myself a better and happier person. I did a few things that I’m unfamiliar with, including eating homemade sushi and trying on skinny jeans. Yes, they may seem silly and from left field, but it’s baby steps to get out of the shell of a comfort zone I’d been living in since late last year.

I’m also picking up healthy habits little by little. For the past year and a half I’ve almost completely ditched pop and went with water and tea. Recently, I’ve been eating more fresh fruit and way less candy and junk foods. I’ve been walking around the new neighborhood quite a bit, even pushing myself to run up hills and stairs. It’s the small steps that will eventually make a huge difference.

As for the album recommendation this week, I’m heading back to the modern alt/indie/rock vibes.

Dan Croll came out with a song last year called “From Nowhere” and that’s exactly how it hit me. What a great single from this dude, definitely jam material. Recently I found out he just came out with an album titled Sweet Disarray. Fantastic album, let me tell you. The whole album, front to back, has a very summery vibe to it. Just go lay out in the evening with that special lady, listen to the tunes, and enjoy the whole sensual experience. Did I mention spring and summer are my favorite times of the year? Because they are. Fuck winter.

Tags: life

The State of The Bread - May 14, 2014

Let me tell you about this gorgeous (and kind of hot) weather we have going on right now. I’m inside working (and writing this in my free time) and all I want to do is go out there and enjoy it. Looks like I have plans for this evening, as long as the thunderstorms stay away.

Other than the weather, I’m feeling great about a lot of things. My other “main” actor told me he’s good for our first set of shooting dates, so it’s happening. The first half of my webseries, Boyz House, is ready to shoot. I’m getting excited, the ideas keep flooding, and people are getting attached to the project as well. This will be a great summer, mark my words. It’ll be my first full summer working full time, so juggling time around to do awesome things will be an interesting challenge.

I mentioned that ideas keep coming into my head, and let me tell you, that creative flow when you get new ideas is one of the best feelings I can experience. It’s like making a new world with new people and new places. I AM LITERALLY GOD AND THAT GOD’S NAME IS BREAD. ALL HAIL BREAD, YOU PEASANTS.

But seriously, I’m starting to take writing a whole lot more seriously. Back in film school I was more interested in having a camera in my hand as well as the writing, directing, and editing. I soon found out how much I suck at lighting and how I can’t comprehend all the techniques that come with it. But hey, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Also, I just rebooted my Twitter account, go follow me @MyNameIsBread.

This week’s album recommendation is in a genre that’s very hit and miss for a lot of people. Forewarning: It’s ska.

image

Yes, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and their big album Let’s Face It that features the smash hit song “The Impression That I Get”. I really like The Mighty Mighty Bosstones for their big sound between their instruments and Dicky Barrett’s badass baritone voice. And their music’s on the up side, thankfully. Gotta keep that positive-ish flow going, that’s the key to life, kids.

Tags: life real shit